As a matchmaker for black professionals, a good amount of my clients are African American women of course. Amongst other things, I learn about the “type” of men they’ve dated in the past. I also have them tell me what they find themselves physically attracted to. Physical attraction isn’t the most important feature but it’s definitely a feature AND an important one. I think the problem is we often disqualify men based on superficial ideas of what we think our “dream guy” should look like. The reality is there are several attractive, eligible, professional men we see on a daily basis but don’t even consider because he’s not Idris Elba. To help the ladies identify these eligible men, I’ve listed the TOP 3 types of men that women tend to overlook. Give them a try, ladies! You might find there are a lot more eligible men out there than you thought.
1. Mr. “Under 6ft” I think one of the most common must haves for my female clients is some type of height requirement. While many women request that he is at least 6ft tall, the vast majority require that he is taller than them in heels. I once had a client who was under 5ft say that she “HAS to date men that are at least 6ft tall”. Yes…seriously. As a tall woman myself, I understand. We were brought up to believe we should have a tall, dark, and handsome man. However, that’s SO not realistic. Most studies find that about 14% of ALL men in the U.S. are 6ft or taller. This means, you’re completely disqualifying 86% of men. Let me say that again… 86% of men. Think about your male friends that are not 6ft tall but are great guys. Don’t limit yourself to 14% of all men in the country.
2. Mr. “No Swag” Idris, Denzel, Jay Z…they all have that one thing that takes their average looks and makes them supermen…swag. For the mature women, we call it charisma. Again, I get it. It makes perfect sense to be attracted to charismatic men. So am I. However, you shouldn’t limit yourself to this type of guy. You ever met the guy who shares your goals and values and desires to treat you like a queen but for whatever reason you just don’t like him? This is generally the case when a guy lacks charisma. I like to call him the “good guy”. He has no desire to date tons of women, he doesn’t want you to chase him, he wants everything you want. Ladies, we have to learn to love this guy. If you look around your circle of male friends, you’ll find a few good guys that you’ve completely disqualified because they don’t have swag or charisma but would be a great guy in a relationship and as a father to his children. How he treats you is much more important than how charismatic he is. Don’t limit yourself.
3. Mr. “Non-Black Man” In a perfect world, there would be just as much eligible African American male professionals as there are eligible African American female professionals. When you take out the men who are imprisoned or on their way and do not hold a professional status, you’re left with about a 3:1 ratio of black female professionals to male professionals in the Chicago area. The numbers are pretty similar throughout the country as well. Then, you should factor the black professional men who are already taken or do not desire women. You’re left with even fewer eligible men. There is probably no bigger supporter and promoter of “black love” on this earth than myself but I am also a realist. There are tons of great guys we pass up on a daily basis because he is not African American. Next to Asian men, African American women are the least likely to marry outside of our race. While African American men are the most likely to marry outside of their race. If you open yourself up to the dating pool of men that are not black, you will find MANY more eligible men. Don’t limit yourself.
My challenge to all women reading this post is to take a look at the single men you already know. Consider the ones you disqualified because he’s not tall enough, he doesn’t have swag, or he’s not black. Suddenly, you’ll find the number of eligible men available to you is a lot larger than you think. Have fun!
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