“Go With The Flow” Is The Worst Dating Advice You Could Ever Receive

I was scrolling down my Facebook feed looking for entertainment, an update on the black girls missing in D.C, news that a team has picked up Kaep, or something else that I might find enjoyable. Instead, I saw a post from a gentleman advising women to “go with the flow” when dating. Insert rolling side eye…the type of rolling side eye that would make your mom say “your eyes are going to get stuck in the back of your head.”

His Advice:

  • Meet A Guy 
  • Enjoy Each Other (sexually)
  • Have No Expectations
  • See How It Goes

AS IF it actually ever is that easy. Now, to the average person including the women on his page, this doesn’t sound too much like a bad idea. Except, it is the worst piece of advice anyone should give women…most women at least. For one reason; we women are emotionally wired. Some believe we’re born this way. Others believed we’ve been nurtured this way. Either way, the vast majority of women will have some emotional reaction when she spends time with and has sex with a man. Period.

Still, we hear “go with the flow” advice so often these days. I’ve heard women say it too. Here is why you should stop taking advice from anyone who tells you to just have fun and go with the flow.

Pay attention.

You ready?

9 out of the 10 times you decide to go with the flow you will end up in a situationship. What is a situationship? It is a relationship where two people do everything they’d normally do in a committed relationship without the expectation of commitment or long term results like marriage. It is when you ask them if they are together and the response is “We got a lil situation.”

Why are situationships a bad thing? Well, because I have talked to numerous women who thought they could just go with the flow and ultimately regret ever trying. Instead of flowing, they end up in a situationship with a man who has no reason to commit to anything long term…because… why? If he can have all of the benefits of a commitment without the actual commitment, why would he commit?

Situationships are so common in our dating world that I created a video to help women know when they’re wasting time in these types of “relationships.”

Now, I have seen the occasional situationship where the man wants to move forward and the woman doesn’t. Even in those circumstances, the dynamics are the same. One person feels like they’ve found something special. The others feels like they can find something better.

So, if you’re a woman who either

  1. (1) desires something long term
  2. (2) becomes emotionally attached when he hits the spot

…going with the flow is not for you. I’m willing to bet 90% of women fall into one of the two categories. If you’re one of the women already in a situationship and you’re wondering if you’re wasting your time, check out my 5 Ways To Know Your Situationship Is Going Nowhere video.
To the other 10% of women who have managed to emotionally detach themselves from their vajayjay, do you, girl! Have fun for the rest of us.