It’s the beginning of the year and like many you’ve decided you’re ready to meet that special someone you’ll share the rest of your life with. You’ve seen the engagements in your newsfeed, the gifts for “hubby,” and Christmas family photos.

You’re human. It’s perfectly normal to desire your own engagement, your own spouse, and your own family photos. It’s so normal that online sites will experience a huge increase in membership because people all over the world are looking for their own special someone. Well, you’re in luck. I’m sharing what I believe to be the #1 thing to make a difference in your ability to find love in 2018.

Stick with me.



If you want to find love in 2018, go to the mirror, take off the makeup, the hair, the designer clothes, the tailored suits, the ego and take a real… REAL… look at yourself. Like any other goal, you’ll need to know your starting point before you can obtain said goal.

 

Too many people are just not honest with themselves. They might even lack the ability to be or never even thought about it. In this world of speed and easy access, going with the flow is just NOT the way to go. You have to take a moment to look in the mirror and be real about WHO you are and WHAT you bring to the table. Once you know that, you can start working on being the best version of yourself to attract the person you desire.




Here are questions you should ask yourself:

What did my childhood teach me?
If you didn’t grow up seeing a healthy, loving, relationship, you might find it difficult to create one. If this is you, invest in your own education. Read books about relationships. Find someone who has a relationship you admire and seek guidance. Learn as much as you can about healthy relationships. You don’t know what you don’t know. If you don’t have an example, find one. It’s no longer ok to navigate the dating world blindly. We hurt each other that way.

What have my relationships done to me?
For most of us, our first relationships were the ones we thought would last forever. They didn’t. Neither did the one after that or the ones after that. Now, you’re an adult who has experienced pain and disappointment from relationships and they will forever play a role in future relationships. Yet, they don’t have to negatively affect future relationships. You have trust issues? Commitment phobia? Low key anger toward the opposite sex? Be honest about it. Once you know what your opportunities are, you can easily recognize them when they become an issue in future relationships.

Would I date myself?
This is a big one! As a matchmaker, I can not tell you how many people tell me they want someone who is everything they are not. In other words, they wouldn’t date themselves. Do you have the health habits of the person you desire? Are you as disciplined as the person you desire? Are you reciprocal? Loyal? Try imagining yourself in the shoes of the opposite sex. Then think of the millions of options you have. Would you choose yourself? If not, work on becoming the person YOU desire to attract.

xoxo
Jas




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